The Sturgeon

I’m baptized. Even though I was expecting it to happen it caught me totally by surprise. I’m going down to have lunch, right, and security grab me just outside the galley, put shackles on me and my fellow heathens, escort us to the garbage room and lock us in. It’s 35 degrees in there and the smell is not all that pleasant. 5 minutes later a friendly face opens the door and delivers a case of beer. Oh thank you! Not quite. The case has been placed to simmer for 2 days close to the funnel so it’s even warmer. Have you ever tried 45 degrees warm beer? It tastes like sweaty sauna. 

Of course we drink it anyway.

One sharp engineer remembers the old “sock and water” trick where you place the beer in the sock and drench it with water. As the water evaporates it steals energy from the bottle thereby chilling it. Its freakin’ science, man! And it worked too. After only 15 minutes we had gone from warm beer to almost drinkable. And it got even easier after the first one.
Two hours later security comes again. They take only me. They snatch me away from my friends just when I need their support the most, and I am taken to a strange place I have never seen before. And there in front of me...as if magic...sits King and Queen Poseidon. 

The rest I cannot foreclose. Needless to say, I was educated and received the name Sturgeon. That’s the one they make Russian caviar from, baby! It’s all me.

Afterwards we had a big barbecue and I ate myself silly.