The enemy

Do you remember that Southpark episode about Russell Crowe? The one where he fights everyone. I’ve managed to stick that little theme song in the 3rd officers head. “Makin’ movies, makin’ songs and foytin’ ‘round the woourld!” I’m on watch with the 3rd officer right now and it’s great fun. He doesn’t care much for the local fishermen, he calls them “the enemy”, but all in all he’s a very nice guy. We try to communicate as much as possible using Chinese English. If we have an accident, the people listening to the recordings on the VDR(Voice Data Recorder) are going to wonder if we’re drunk. 

I just thought of a funny sketch. Right, picture this. A Korean guy, right…..singing Coldplay covers. “a rushhh of brood toode heeeead”. Well I think it’s funny, so there. I’ve had some complaints on my English impersonations. It seems people don’t think asians can say the letter ‘R’ but that is false. They can say it just fine, just not always when it should be said. You see, sometimes they mix the ‘L’s and the ‘R’s up. Like this:
“This is Korean Navy, how do you read me, over?” 
becomes
“Dis Koreanavy, how do you lleadah me, ovah?”
and 
“Arrange pilot ladder starboard side 2 meters above water”
becomes
“Allange pierott raddah staahboh sai two metah a-buhh-watah”

Yesterday we received a man overboard distress call on the MF/HF from far, far away. It’s the old school type radio and it doesn’t work very well. You are supposed to get a short text message and then be able to connect to a frequency for audio, but 95% of all messages received are “Error in call” and you can’t hear anything when connecting. And people don’t know how to use it. Yesterday we received distress calls, distress forwards and distress acknowledgments every 30 seconds for over an hour. And some tech guy had been onboard and raised the volume on the alarm signal. My finger hurts from pressing the “ignore” button.

It’s spelled “Incheon”, I apologize. Actually the correct spelling is a lot more complicated than that involving some serious Korean spelling from the actual Korean language but I don’t have access to that so this will have to do. I like Incheon because the downtown area is very close to the port. We took a walk today and saw the fish market, the foppa-toffel market and the bright-pink-women’s-clothing-market. I took the opportunity to flirt with some teenage girls of course. They were on some kind of school trip outside a big catholic church. We also met a real sweet, very talkative, catholic nun, who wanted to know where we were from and how religious people were there. She said maybe so much as 10% of the population in South Korea are Catholics but most of them are a little Buddhist on the side. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I was an atheist, she was really sweet.Speaking of nuns, you’re all gonna wanna have sex with me now because I bought the coolest hat. It’s the kind of hat that makes women swoon. I could get Princess Madeleine with this hat, no problem. This hat is so cool, I can wear it naked and no one will notice. My hat could solve the Israel-Palestine conflict. My hat is the destroyer of worlds. I out-hat even the Burtest of Reynolds. In short, it’s a really cool hat. I also bought some refreshments as seen on the picture. After last times green tea fiasco in Japan I decided to take a safer route and go with the grapefruit thing on the right, but then I got bored with myself and decided to also purchase the green bottle in the middle. I have no idea what it is, I haven’t tasted it yet, but it says “fresh 500” on the label. I find that very comforting. I also bought some cookies.