The cellist

Welcome to fucking Belgium!

You know the movie “Top Secret”, one of Val Kilmers first. There’s a scene in Fluergendorf prison where Dr Flammond says to Nick “If they catch you here your life will be worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory!”. I’ve never understood what that meant until now. Because that’s just how I feel. I’ve got a bad case of the Belgian Blues and I’ll tell you why:

Yes, I’m in Belgium, the land of monster cows and pedophiles. Traveling up the river towards Antwerp a thought strikes you. Look how wonderful the sewers run straight into the river. And oh, look over there, what a nice pile of gravel. What’s that? Why it’s a chemical factory! So on and so forth. It’s so beautiful here. And here we are waiting, waiting for pilot, waiting in locks, waiting to moor. In 72 hours I’ve had 12 hours sleep.

The last port in Belgium is Zeebrügge. My friends onboard wanted to go ashore to see the village next door called Brügge. I decline because I’m dead tired. When they come back they go on and on about how wonderful it was. As they tell the stories of the beautiful old buildings and delightful atmosphere it becomes clear that Brügge is the village from the movie “In Bruges”. Brügge in English is Bruges. Do you understand? I could have been In Bruges!!! I had an opportunity to be In Bruges and I let it slip for a few hours of pillow time. Normally I love seeing new places but I don’t want to anymore. I’m sick of new interesting experiences. I want to see something familiar. It is time to go home. I’ve been given a date. September 18^th. That’s when I go home. That is all I think about now. When I first came onboard I beat my fellow cadets at ping-pong. I not only beat them. I sent them home to mama. Actually first I took ‘em to school, then I gave ‘em a good slice of humble pie….and then I sent them home to mama! Crying! Yeah that’s how I roll. But in the following months their game has steadily improved, better offense, tighter topspin, the whole sha-bang. And today one of them almost beat me! I am glad I’m getting of this ship soon.

I’ll be home in time for my cousins wedding, thankfully. Sometimes I think I should get married too. But I can’t seem to find the right girl anywhere. And despite what you think, my standards are not too high. I can’t be the only one who want a Nobel prize winning cancer-researcher slash hiphop-video-girl that plays the cello, right? …right?

…

Dear reader, I regret to inform you that this bloggin’ business is on hold until further notice. You see, it’s not hard to come up with interesting material when interesting things happen around you. I am home again and have fallen back into comfortable routine. It’s nice. I like it. But I can’t write about it. Perhaps I will continue on the next ship, Cinderella, on which I am boarding on the 15^th of October. Let me put it this way…I’m quite certain that life will get interesting again. 

Thank you all for reading.