De Grey

Scientist are working on a cure for aging. Yeah, that’s right people, check out this awesomely bearded dude talking about it on TED. (His name is Aubrey de Grey. Is that the most badass name for a scientist ever? easy! It’s almost a shame he’s not an evil scientist.) I know people are terrified of this kind of science, “they’re playing god” and “how will we feed everyone” and “the traffic is gonna be awful”. Not me. I think it’s just Tits! 
Imagine living in the future, I’ve always wanted to live in the future ever since I saw Star Wars. And I need the extra time too, there are plenty things left to do in this life. No, I don’t worry about the future, it will sort itself out, it always has in the past. I worry about the present. There are some serious stuff going on right now that we have to fix. Like Microsoft Excel 2007. The captain has given me an assignment to reformat this diagram graphics doodle for this thing and it involves me working with excel. Or rather cursing at excel. It’s not doing what I want it to do. WHY WON’T YOU FUCKING DO WHAT I FUCKING WAN’T YOU TO DO YOU FUCKING PIECE OF WORTHLESS CRAP?!! There’s a reason I stopped working the IT industry, y’know. And it’s Sunday, it’s supposed to be my day off. And I’m sitting here with THIS FUCKING EXCEL!!! 
“Excel” my ass, by the way, it should be called Microsoft “Underachieve” 2007. Or how about Microsoft “Depression” 2007? No, I got it. Microsoft “Slowly insert barbed wire up your urethra” 2007. Maybe you, my precious reader, have a better name suggestion for this software abomination? By all means, share. 

Either way, I just taxi-drivered the fuck out of my hairstyle and I feel much better. I’m as bald as a….no I won’t say it.

We’ve had some adventures with the stern ramp. Some minor involuntary design changes. Or to put it another way, it broke. And it didn’t want to close. It’s not this tiny little ramp that you can simply adjust with a screwdriver. It’s a huge thing powered by hydraulics and when it breaks it’s a major issue since we can neither load nor discharge. But after some advanced carpentry and metal work, it closed again. But will it open in the next port? Ohh it’s ever so exciting for the chief officer who is responsible both for the ramp and cargo operations in general. It was 30 degrees today but nobody was sweating like him.

Every month the Swedish Seaman’s Service send out 6 new movies to all the Swedish vessels. After a few years the collection adds up. There are no doubt 500+ movies to choose from onboard, some good, some bad. I just saw “Under Siege II” with Steven Seagal. You know, the one on the train. It’s clearly not as good as the first one but it was still pretty funny. They shot the Playmate in the leg though. That was uncalled for.

On our continuous story “Beverages and snacks of the world” we have today a wide selection from the wonderful nation of Japan. Let’s start from the left, shall we? The Japanese seem to like ice coffee, there is a variety of choices for the stuff in the local supermarket. I opted to try a can of ice cold Bruno. Not terribly exiting but with a name like that I had to give it a go. Next is Skal, a very sweet limy flavor. It would have potential as a drink mixer if it wasn’t so sweet. And the color of the drink made me think of something, never mind what that was. The next one has to be real healthy, why else would they make the bottle bright pink? It had a nice black currant flavor but I was expecting some kind of buzz and I got nuthin'. The one in the middle turned out to be iced tea. No flavor. By far the best one. The little black one I took one tiny sip of and decided it was enough for me. All I know is it says 500mg and there’s a garlic on the label. That’s also what it tasted like. Why would they make that?
The Mitsuya cider goes straight into the alcohol-soda category. It was pretty good the first two sips with a very rich and balanced flavor of vending machine bubble gum and I’m sure it would be a hit amongst the teenagers at home. On the right is not actually a beverage but a fake cologne given to the chief officer by papa-san. “you give girrfreeenh”. He didn’t like it cause it smells like soap so he gave it to me. I didn’t like it cause it smells like soap so I threw it away.